I’ve suffered with anxiety, depression and mood changers for as long as I remember! When I was at nursery I remember this huge sense of darkness waiting to go in, I screamed and cried until I vomited, they had to call my mum to pick me up , I learned quickly that this behaviour would get a reaction and that phone call to my mum to come pick me up so I felt safe !! I know now this was anxiety!!!
I’ve been on medication probably most of my life , sometimes stronger than others due to life events and such ! I remember at around 18 years old my parents asked me to leave the family home because of the boyfriend I chose , turns out they were right however I fell in love , hard , fast just like the movies , only my movie was a nightmare for my mental health , my boyfriend went to jail and I was left alone scared and so down I didn’t want to live anymore !!
That first Christmas was the worst , my lunch was stale bread and a bit of bacon , hardly festive , I remember I cried all day , infact I think I cried for a year !! His friends were vile to me , publicly calling me names , spitting in my face and knocking on my door late at night , I was petrified!! Enough was enough I had to go to my gp for stronger meds !!! My story doesn’t end there !!